The Wasteland
by misha2
Summary: A sequel to 'Ad Finem.' Forever is a long time. Forever without love is worse than death. Rated PG-13 for shonen ai, violence, sexual inuendo, and psychological freaky stuff that may disturb some readers.
1. Prologue

_ No one can predict the future._
    
    
    ***
    A master is someone that you serve. Someone that you labor
    for and obey and adore. Someone to whom you owe your loyalty,
    your love, and your very existence. A master is someone that
    makes the life of a Moon Guardian possible.
    Sakura had always been a good master. Now though ...
    Now she was so much more.
    Once he'd felt the years -- past and future -- pressing down
    upon him heavily. He'd looked back on the happiness that had
    come so late and gone so soon, then looked ahead to all the
    remaining years and he had been weary. Sick and exhausted with
    the crushing weight of an uncaring forever. Daily for over a
    century he'd contemplated spending eternity alone. Unloved and
    misunderstood and grieving.
    So few had ever understood him.
    All of that had changed that day when he'd looked into
    Sakura's eyes and found passion there. Always there had been
    love there, but that day ...
    He'd never had such a shock. That she could love him so
    deeply had frightened him at first, but with a bit of a nudge in
    the right direction by interested third and forth parties, he'd
    decided to gamble everything. He'd decided to take a chance on
    love for only the second time in his long long life.
    Right now she was sleeping.
    Yue wasn't sure whether he liked her better this way or
    awake. She wasn't one of those delicate women who looked angelic
    or innocent only as they lay in slumber. Indeed, her waking self
    was more angelic than Yue could sometimes bear, but asleep she
    turned, she kicked, she rolled, she mumbled, she pulled his hair.
    She smiled. He loved watching her; smelling her; holding her as
    she slept. He loved the unconscious motion of her body in the
    quiet of the long nights. He lived for the moments when her
    dreaming mind commanded, and she clasped him tight, snuggled into
    his accommodating flesh, and sighed with unfeigned contentment.
    He cherished the times when she happily whispered his name.
    Love radiated from her at all times, but it was his nights
    alone with his thoughts and her unconscious expressions of trust
    and adoration that he loved best.
    She murmured quietly, and he looked at her; stroked her
    cheek gently; wrapped her a little more tightly in the warmth of
    his wings. He could taste a bit of rare tension in her.
    Something was troubling her normally peaceful rest. A dream,
    perhaps, or a premonition. She struggled a little until he
    kissed her cheek and whispered soothing words. It was alright.
    He was here. They were safe.
    They were together.
    She stilled; moved closer to him.
    He didn't worry about the future any more. He believed in
    their love. He believed in holding on to her for as long as he
    could and not worrying about anything else. That at this moment,
    he was comforting her from unknown anxieties was enough.
    He'd let the future take care of itself.
    A master is someone that you love. Somone that you serve
    and obey and adore for all of your long existence. A master
    makes the life of a Moon Guardian possible, and if that Moon
    Guardian is very very lucky, they also fill that life with love
    and happiness.
    ***
    

_ There are no certainties just as there are no impossibilities._
    
    
    ***
    "Something strange happened to me today, Grandmother."
    She stopped her sewing and smiled at her beautiful Ayumi.
    Her only grandchild. "And what was that, dear?"
    "I-chan's mother asked me if I like fish. I do like fish,
    Grandmother."
    "But that's not strange, Ayumi-chan!"
    "I know. So I said 'I like fish.' I-chan's mother said,
    'Oh, that's good,' and then she went into her house. But for a
    moment, *before* I said 'I like fish,' I saw something strange.
    I saw her buying something at the market. She bought a fish,
    except that she also bought a chicken. Except she didn't buy the
    chicken if she bought the fish. But that doesn't make sense,
    because she's not going shopping today. She's going tomorrow,
    and then I'm supposed to go over to her house to eat dinner."
    Her heart froze. The family curse. For years, ever since
    her poor daughter had first conceived, she'd hoped that it was
    ended. She'd prayed that this innocent child would not have to
    endure the hatred and the fear of those around her. She'd hoped
    the curse would not rest upon this child. "Ayumi-chan... Have
    you ever seen anything like that before? Two things that haven't
    happened yet? Have you ever known in your heart that only one of
    them could really happen and that you had to make a choice?"
    "...Sometimes."
    The eyes of the village already watched her too closely.
    Watched for any signs of the sight. Any indication that this
    girl, like her mother, could see a lie in the face of the teller,
    or sense the spirits of the dead, or ... or see what was in store
    if one path was chosen and another rejected. If only she could
    be sure that Ayumi would understand how important it was to hide
    what she knew from those who wouldn't understand! "You were
    standing at the crossroads."
    "The ... cross ... crossroad?"
    She gathered the child into her arms and held her. She
    didn't understand the cruelty of the gods, but such a curse still
    might be put to use. Ayumi might learn, as her own mother had,
    that foreknowledge could warn; could empower. "Yes, child. You
    were shown two things that might happen. Which one happens
    depends on which choice you make. If you had said you didn't
    like fish, what would happen tomorrow?"
    "I-chan's mother would buy a chicken."
    "Right. But because you said you like fish..."
    The child's innocent grin was almost painful. "She bought
    fish! We're going to eat fish!"
    Her grip tightened ever so slightly. How could she warn
    her? How could she make her understand? "Listen to me, Ayumi.
    Pay very close attention when you see things like that.
    Sometimes a choice can be as small as what you'll have for
    dinner. Sometimes, though, it will mean the difference between
    staying safe, and being hurt badly. Look at both sides. Choose
    carefully."
    "I will, Grandmother."
    "And whatever you do, Ayumi, don't tell anyone what you see!
    Don't ever let anyone know that the future sends you visions!
    They won't understand." And she looked down into those bright
    and serious eyes that she knew so well, but she didn't see
    understanding there. She didn't see fear. Only confusion.
    Oh, if only she were afraid. If only she understood what
    terrible things men sometimes did when they didn't understand.
    ***
    

_ Potential branches past this moment. _

And this one. 

And this one. 

Into a web of possibilities. Not infinite, but unending.   
Not limitless, but always growing. 
    
    
    ***
    He didn't look into the future. He hadn't looked into
    the future for many years. He told himself that there was no
    challenge in doing so. That too easily all that knowledge would
    flood into his mind. All the secrets of the ages to come.
    There was nothing about the future that could be kept from
    his piercing inner eye.
    Except the things that could.
    There was nothing that he couldn't predict with absolute
    certainty down to the most minute detail.
    Except the things he couldn't.
    Why look into the future when all you found there was
    frustration? Certainly he could tell where the missing heiress
    of the Clan McPherson would eventually be found, and with whom,
    and what the score of his Tuesday night game of billiards would
    be, and what the weather would be like for the next century or
    so, but what did any of that matter? What good was all of that
    when the personal details of his own life would forever be
    shrouded from his view? What were all the prophecies in the
    world when they could not see what one choice would bring, or
    what one heart would decide?
    Why bother when nothing you saw ever brought you happiness,
    or helped you to keep those you loved from making bad decisions.
    Decisions that hurt.
    Decisions that left your heart desolate and broken for
    centuries.
    No.
    He would never again look into the future. This he'd vowed
    nearly a hundred years ago when ...
    When...
    When *she* had left him. When he'd been totally unprepared
    for her willful and callous abandonment. He'd kept that vow
    faithfully. Since then he'd never been tempted to use his
    clairvoyance to discover the events of the distant future.
    It was so much more fun to look in on his loved ones in the
    present anyway.
    Sakura and Yue.
    He'd been so delighted when they'd finally worked things
    out. When they'd finally given in to the longing and the sexual
    tension that he'd carefully planted between them so long ago.
    They were so adorable together!
    He supposed he ought to contact them. To congratulate them.
    But since...
    Since...
    Since *that* day, he'd let all of his business and personal
    correspondence lapse. It had been too long. Much too long to
    merely drop by unannounced and disturb this perfect life that
    they seemed to have found in each other's arms.
    They were getting along just fine without him.
    Very well, actually.
    Someday, perhaps, they'd need his guidance or intervention
    again. Until then, however, he would not intrude. It was good
    that they were at last happy.
    He wasn't even jealous.
    Not even a little bit.
    Not at all.
    ***
    

_ Each moment lessens our total number of available choices.  
Each choice leads to new opportunities. It is too complex a  
thing to quantify and too beautiful a thing to comprehend.  
_
    
    ***
    Bored.
    He was incredibly bored.
    His master was sleeping peacefully, wrapped tightly in the
    numerous appendages of her vigilant lover. She was safe and
    content.
    Which meant that as a guardian, not only did he have no duty
    to perform, but also no one to talk to or play with.
    There were times when he slept. Especially now that
    Sakura's magic was so very strong, he didn't really *need* sleep.
    He just liked it in the same way he liked eating. Sleeping,
    however, was much more fun during the day when he could find a
    quiet sunny spot to curl up in, but Sakura slept at night. Once
    he'd taken great joy in talking to, pestering, and generally
    tormenting his fellow guardian Yue through the countless nights,
    but now Yue spent his nights ...
    Well, if there was one place Yue was safe from Keroberus'
    need to be entertained, that was where he was now. It wasn't
    that the Sun Guardian feared Yue's wrath or Sakura's, it was just
    that ... Sakura had always been good to him, and she needed her
    rest. He wouldn't have disturbed her for the world. Therefore,
    Yue was out of his reach.
    Thus deprived of both of his companions, he spent many
    evenings in a restless state.
    Over all it was a good thing, he supposed. Once before he'd
    seen Yue blossom under the influence of true love. It wasn't
    that he was cold or unfeeling, just that he'd had much to be
    unhappy about when he'd first returned from his self-appointed
    oblivion. For a while, he'd been truly happy. He'd laughed and
    smiled and enjoyed the company of his friends and his lover
    almost like a normal person.
    But only for a while.
    Now that he had Sakura, he was once again content and even
    happy. Her attention could make flowers bloom in the wastelands.
    Yue was not immune to her subtle and unconscious power; the
    secret delight in her innocent eyes. Yue had shown himself to be
    most vulnerable of all.
    And Sakura was happy. Happier than she'd been in far too
    long, and that made it all worth it. How could he be so
    ungrateful as to complain?
    This didn't change the fact that night after night he was
    completely bored.
    He had taken to long midnight flights up and down the
    mountains, through the canyons, over the fields. It was
    beautiful country, and Sakura always appreciated any news he
    could give her about the state of things. Signs of the local
    wildlife, the rise of the lakes and rivers, and evidence of any
    poachers on her property. Incidents of humans trespassing on
    Sakura's land were becoming rarer with every generation, but that
    was certainly no reason to become less vigilant. She'd never
    asked him to make these rounds, but where duty had failed to
    motivate him for many decades, endless tedium had succeeded.
    It was still hours until dawn, though, and he'd seen nothing
    out of the ordinary. Perhaps a small nap wasn't such a bad idea
    after all.
    ***
    

_ As each choice is made, a hundred other possibilities cease  
to exist; collapse in on themselves as if they never were. _

Because they never were. 
    
    ***
    For the second time that night, Ayumi was standing at the
    crossroads. She didn't know what it had meant, that strange
    compulsion to run into the forest away from everything she'd ever
    known, but somehow, she'd chosen to trust the strange vision.
    The one that had insisted that death and pain stalked her; that
    her only chance lay out there in the unknown wilds. She tried
    hard to ignore all the fear. All the stories she'd heard about
    the evil things that hunted on this mountain. All the things
    that would love to chew on the tender flesh of a young girl.
    She'd sensed danger, she'd fled despite all the stories.
    Now, though, the vision insisted that the danger was not
    over. 'You must go this way, not this way,' it insisted. 'You
    must climb. You must find the safe place. You must find the
    rocks.'
    She turned and ran, doing her best to follow that internal
    vision, but she was frightened, and it was still vague and fuzzy
    in her mind. Which way and how far had become functions of
    instinct and not vision or knowledge. She was doing her best,
    but now the danger was nearer than ever, and she still wasn't
    sure if it was real. It could all be in her mind.
    No, her visions had never been wrong before. Grandmother
    had told her to pay attention. That they might warn her. She
    didn't know what was going to happen, but if she did get hurt,
    she wouldn't let it be because she hadn't paid attention.
    'The rocks,' instinct said, and she looked up. There was a
    ridge above her, and she needed to go to it. She climbed the
    hill, and reached the spine of stones. There *was* something
    about them. A strong feeling of ... something. 'Here. Wait
    here,' she heard. She looked about herself, and nearly jumped in
    fear when she saw the drop just beyond the rocks. She didn't
    know how far down it went, but to her, it looked like forever.
    The vision, though, insisted. This was it. This was where she'd
    be safe. Not only that, but the monster was coming. It was
    following her.
    She was a big girl! She didn't believe in monsters!
    One was coming nonetheless. The brush stirred behind her,
    and with great mental effort, she pulled her gaze away from that
    terrible cliff. Something was coming. Something that walked on
    two legs. Something that looked a lot like a man from her
    village.
    'Monster,' the vision insisted, and Ayumi couldn't argue.
    This man had always made her feel threatened. He lied often, and
    for years she'd sensed a deep hatred in him. For a long time
    he'd wanted to hurt her. And now she was alone with him.
    When he saw her, he smiled. He was coming closer and
    closer, and all Ayumi could do was stare. He reached for
    something at his belt. A knife. A huge hunting knife. He
    wanted to use it. He wanted to stick it into her. She could see
    it in his smiling face. There was nowhere to run. She watched.
    "There you are, little girl," he said pleasantly. "Come
    here. I want to tell you something."
    She didn't move. She didn't speak. He stopped walking, and
    stared at her. Only a few paces and he'd have her. She couldn't
    run past him, she couldn't run away from him.
    "Never mind," he said. "You can't get away. You've been
    hiding behind that old woman a long time, but that all ends
    tonight. I was surprised when you ran, but this is really so
    much easier. No one here to see. No one to stop me. No one to
    help you. I'm going to kill you tonight."
    Ayumi whimpered. What was this all about?
    The stranger's pleasant and conversational tone was even
    more disturbing than his words or the knife in his hand. "Oh, I
    don't *want* to kill you. I have to do it. I have to protect
    the village, you know. Protect it from witches and demons like
    you."
    What did he mean? Why was he calling her names?
    "Well, it's true, isn't it? You see things. You know
    things before they happen. Just like your mother."
    Her mother? She didn't remember her mother. Her mother had
    died long ago. Had she been like Ayumi? Had she known?
    The monster looked around himself. "You know, it was right
    about here that I last saw your mother. Strange that you'd run
    here. You knew I was coming, didn't you? You knew I'd found you
    out at last? So you ran here. To the same place your mother
    ran. Running didn't save her, you know. I found her here. I
    killed her. Just like I'm going to kill you."
    He *had* killed her mother. It wasn't a lie or a boast, it
    was a bare fact. She knew it with the same instinct that had led
    her here. But why here? If her mother too had been led here ...
    if her mother had died here, then ...
    An unnatural mist was rising from the ground. The figure of
    a woman behind her crazed accuser. And time stopped. "Mommy?"
    She felt peace in this strange place faced with dangers on
    ever side. She felt comfort. She was loved. It didn't matter
    if she died. She'd be with her mother. She took one step
    forward, but the beautiful lady held up a hand. She needed to
    stay where she was. The man was still talking. He was coming
    closer, but she needed to stay where she was. Mother would
    explain everything, but right now, she needed to lie down on the
    rocks.
    A strange whiteness was filling the air all around. It was
    cool and soft, and she wanted to close her eyes, but the man was
    coming closer. He was telling her that she was evil, and that
    she had hurt the people, but he was wrong. She was a good girl.
    A smart girl. Mommy said so. The white was rising higher and
    higher, and the man sounded afraid now. Afraid of her? Afraid
    of Mommy? It was too bright, and she couldn't see, and he
    couldn't see either because he was yelling, and he was coming
    closer, and his foot hit her hard in the stomach, but he fell and
    he was screaming and falling and falling. And Mommy was holding
    her and telling her that she was a good girl.
    She wanted to stay forever with Mommy, but Mommy shook her
    head. Her lips didn't move, but Ayumi heard her words. 'You
    have to go, little one. You have to climb this mountain. You'll
    find someone up there. Someone who'll help you. There are some
    important things that you have to do.'
    But not right now, please. Right now her stomach hurt and
    she was tired.
    ***
    

_ To some extent, every human is given the power to understand  
what effects their choices might have. To see the future -- as  
it were -- that will result if they, perhaps, light a fire, or  
plant a seed, or lift a hand in anger. We all have a share of  
this foresight. Some have more, some less. Some make better use  
of their small gift than others make of their impressive talent. _

But no one can predict the future. 
    
    ***
    The Wasteland
    a Card Captor Sakura futurefic
    by Michelle Thatcher
    ***


	2. Chapter One

-----------------------------------------------------------   
The Wasteland  
A work of Card Captor Sakura fanfiction   
A sequel to 'Ad Finem'  
by Michelle  
-----------------------------------------------------------   
  
  
Still with me?  
  
Wonderful!  
  
^-^ As I mentioned in the description, this story is a sequel to  
my second Card Captor Sakura story 'Ad Finem.' If you don't like  
spoilers, you may wish to read that story before getting any  
further into this one, or even these author's notes.  
  
This story picks up twelve years after the events in Ad Finem.   
For all that time, Sakura and Yue have been lovers with the  
typical ups and downs of any happy and destined couple, and with  
the knowledge and blessing of Sakura's late older brother. This  
story is based on the original Japanese Card Captor Sakura manga  
title by CLAMP. A lot of the events from the anime series never  
happened, and most of the cards from the anime series never  
existed. For the last two hundred years, our Sakura has been  
developing her own improvements to Clow's style of magic. She  
doesn't need cards to work most simple magics. The manga makes  
it rather clear that she has enough power of her own that with  
proper training she can learn to do magic the way Syaoran does.   
With wards or tools, or nothing at all.  
  
If you've read this far, you've already come across at least one  
unfamiliar major character. For this, I cry you mercy. It  
really couldn't be helped. I shall do my best to keep her from  
being as annoying and perfect as original characters can often  
(okay, usually) be in fanfiction. Rest assured that no one is  
more aware of the perils of such characters than I am. I'm doing  
my best.  
  
Many thanks to my brilliant and inspired pre-readers Krista Perry  
and Rachael Whitman. They both have accounts here at ff.net and  
their input has been most valuable. The name Ayumi was suggested  
by Krista, and comes from one of her favorite manga series  
'Detective Conan.'   
  
I am still having trouble with my computer at work, but I will do  
my best to send a new chapter of 'the wasteland' to ff.net at  
least every two weeks. I am anxiously awaiting your comments.  
  
Enough rambling. Here's chapter one:  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------   
  
===========  
Chapter Two  
===========  
  
  
  
Dawn came, and the great seal-beast Keroberus opened his  
eyes. The sleepiness had come upon him suddenly, and the  
position he'd ended up in seemed to involve resting on a few more  
rocks than he might otherwise have chosen. It wasn't until he  
began to stretch, however, that he noticed the soft and  
unfamiliar weight against his right side. That was strange.  
  
Still a little groggy, he craned his head to look. There,  
sleeping against him, was something that very closely resembled a  
five year old human girl. Of course, that was impossible for  
several reasons. For one thing, small human girls were not a  
natural part of the eco-system here, and for another, he was a  
fearsome and mighty magical animal, and his very appearance could  
easily inspire awe and respect in the hearts of all who saw him.   
Surely any small humans who came upon him while he was resting  
his mighty eyes would either run in terror at his obvious  
strength and fighting skill, or stand in reverence and delight at  
his wonderful and stylish beauty. Certainly, though, no child  
would be so foolhardy as to lean against his muscular self and  
fall asleep. The very idea was preposterous.  
  
He blinked several times, but the darned girl insisted on  
being a girl.  
  
Fine, then. If that was the way she wanted to be, he'd just  
go back to sleep until she decided to behave in a more respectful  
and rational manner.  
  
Just as he closed his eyes, though, she stirred. She  
stretched and yawned, and acted for all the world like a child.   
He looked deeper. Not an ordinary child. A magical gift was  
apparent in her aura. Moon power. Figured.  
  
Then her eyes opened and she looked at him. He did his best  
to appear fearsome and intimidating. Best to teach the little  
moonie some respect right away.  
  
She smiled. "Good morning!" she said in a calm and cheerful  
way. That was all. She was waiting patiently for him to answer.   
How much could she know, this ankle biter? He kept silent, but  
her smile made him purr softly despite himself.  
  
"What's your name?" she asked, as if speaking to strange  
winged lions you used as furniture in the middle of the forest  
were the most natural thing in the world. He eyed her warily.   
Who could she be?  
  
His silence made her smile fade a little. After a few  
moments it turned into a full fledged pout. He held out  
valiantly for as long as he could, but then she sniffled.  
  
"I'm Keroberus!" he rushed to say. "Pleased to meet you!"  
  
She smiled again, and he found that it was an infectious and  
innocent smile. Much like Sakura's, though a bit more tranquil.  
  
Speaking of his master, she wouldn't be happy with him  
giving himself away like this. It was bad enough that he'd let  
himself be seen by a human let alone giving away the secret of  
his amazing intelligence and powers of speech.  
  
"My name is Ayumi," the child said. "Where are we going  
Kero ... Kerobu ... Kerobari-san?"  
  
He grimaced a little. He'd always been so proud of the very  
dashing name that Clow had given him. Little girls couldn't be  
expected to understand it's grandeur, though. "What do you mean  
where are we going? You ought to go home now. These woods are  
no place for a little girl all alone."  
  
"But Mommy said! She said you'd take care of me! She said  
you'd take me to the new place! The safe place!"  
  
"No way. We're going to find this mother of yours, and  
she's going to take you straight home." He looked around for  
evidence of this strange woman that apparently liked to look for  
sleeping lions to leave her daughter with.  
  
"But we can't."  
  
"Why not?" The nerve of some parents these days!  
  
"Because she's gone. She died a long time ago."  
  
"Well then, we'll just have to find her because there's no-   
Dead?"  
  
The girl nodded miserably.  
  
"How long ago?"  
  
"When I was a baby."  
  
"But she told you that I'd take you someplace safe?"  
  
Another nod.  
  
"When did she tell you that?"  
  
"Last night. She helped me find you and said you'd tell me  
what to do next and that I'd have a place to stay and a new  
teacher and that I should get some sleep and then she said that  
she was done now and that I'd be okay if I always did what my new  
sensei said and that she had to go but she loved me."  
  
Oh dear. "Did something happen last night? Something your  
mommy had to wait a long time to finish?" It sounded like a  
fairly classic haunting.   
  
The child nodded. "There was a bad man. He wanted to hurt  
me, but Mommy helped me be brave and he yelled a lot and then he  
fell and Mommy brought me here. Mommy's gone now. She said I  
should be brave."  
  
It seemed there was nothing he could do. Nothing but take  
her to Sakura and see if she could find out where she belonged.   
"Come with me," he said gallantly. "I know someone who'll help  
you."  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Yue, love, what are you still doing here?"  
  
It was the morning ritual. Her line followed by his line  
followed by her line.  
  
"This is where you are, beloved."  
  
"Yue, this is my bed. I sleep here."  
  
"That's why I'm here, beloved."  
  
"Have you been here all night?"  
  
"Yes, beloved."  
  
"Yue, you don't sleep."  
  
"But you do, beloved."  
  
"Yue, don't you ever get bored just watching me sleep night  
after night?"  
  
The dreamy look in his eyes made her melt this morning.   
Just like every other morning. "No, beloved." He shifted  
forward just a bit even as he asked "Am I disturbing you? I  
could leave."  
  
She smiled as he reached towards her. Unthinking she moved,  
her body meeting his for their morning kiss.  
  
Unfortunately, this was not one of the days when she could  
afford to let the morning kiss turn into anything more. Answers  
had come in the night, and she needed to act on them before she  
began to forget. She sighed as she pulled away from that divine  
contact. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked back fondly  
at her lover. "You know..." she began slowly. "You know that it  
really wouldn't bother me if you left. I mean ... if you wanted  
to."  
  
His eyes were serious. "I know that, master."  
  
Picking a piece of discarded clothing from the floor, she  
hurled it at him. Scattered clothing in an otherwise clean room  
was one of the hazards of being desperately in love with a  
physically perfect magical being whose stamina (sexual and  
otherwise) was directly proportional to your own magical  
strength. If you asked Sakura, however, she'd tell you it was  
worth the price. "Yue! You promised!"  
  
The seriousness in him was immediately replaced by a glint  
of play. "I'm sorry, master."  
  
"Yue!" She grabbed hold of his impossibly long hair and hit  
him with it. "I put up with it when I was ten because I was an  
intimidated kid who was trying to figure out what she'd gotten  
herself into! I put up with it when I was twenty because you  
were as stubborn as ... as ... Onii-chan! I put up with it for  
the last two centuries because it was familiar and I was worried  
about you! Two hundred *years* I let you call me master. I  
didn't like it *then* and I'm not going to let you keep calling  
me that *now!* We've been lovers for twelve years!"  
  
"But Sakura-sama-"  
  
"Don't call me Sakura-sama!"  
  
"What shall I call you, master?"  
  
Anger was getting her nowhere. She decided to try pouting.   
"Yue, please?"  
  
He came up from his side of the bed to embrace her from  
behind. "Alright. I'm sorry. I was teasing."  
  
"Not the first time."  
  
"No. The first time was instinct. Habit. You know my  
heart, beloved, but you still feel very much like my master. The  
magician that I've sworn eternal loyalty to."  
  
"Yue, I never-"  
  
He gently placed one pale hand over her lips. "I know. You  
never liked it. You were never comfortable with it. It wasn't  
what you'd come to expect from a guardian because of what  
Keroberus taught you."  
  
She made a small grunting protest.  
  
"Yes, I know. It's never been in your nature to demand  
loyalty, but it's the very essence of my nature to give it,  
willing master or no." She struggled half heartedly in his  
grasp, his words re-awakening old insecurities about the nature  
of their relationship. He knew those ghosts well, and he held  
her even closer brushing his lips across the skin nearest them.   
She couldn't help arching back into him just a little. "I serve  
you because I was made to serve you." Another butterfly kiss and  
then another. "I love you because I chose to love you. You own  
me completely because the parts of me that are mine, I give to  
you freely. The rest of me has always been yours."  
  
Both arms dropped to her waist; held her tight; offered a  
measure of security. She shivered, then whispered her remaining  
doubts. "Oh, Yue, I know. But sometimes ..."  
  
He bent his head. "Sakura. How can I make you believe?"  
  
His sorrow was plain. She felt a rush of guilt, and took  
his hands fiercely in hers. "I believe, Yue! I do! It's just  
... sometimes ..."  
  
She fell into silence not able to explain; afraid to make  
things worse. So they held each other, each needing reassurance  
and contact; each feeling the other's pain by long familiarity;  
each wishing they could heal the other. At last, Sakura said the  
only words that would help. "I love you, Yue."  
  
His fingers laced through hers. "I love you."  
  
And perhaps there was nothing so urgent to attend to this  
morning after all. Perhaps the most important thing was to be  
with him and to take joy in his love. To show him the adoration  
and dedication that defied words, and when the time was right, to  
confess that her own loyalty for some time had also been his  
alone. That everything she did was for love of him.  
  
When day and duty did claim her at last, she'd be ready, but  
for now there was only love; only choice and passion.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Come in, child, come in." Keroberus nudged aside the cloth  
over the kitchen door, and waited for Ayumi to overcome her  
obvious awe of the house enough to walk through it without  
endangering herself. If his guess was correct and she had been  
raised in one of the nearby villages, she'd never seen a building  
as large as this one in her short five years. Why, their kitchen  
was probably as large as her entire house. Stupid technophobes.   
He admired some of their ideals, but in the real world a child  
this age disappearing for this long was unheard of. He couldn't  
take her back to 'civilization' himself, obviously, but Sakura  
would certainly be happy to do it once she was ... up.  
  
Those two.  
  
He followed the little girl into the room, then sighed as  
she fidgeted nervously. "Now then. Can you help me make some  
breakfast?"  
  
"Um ... I guess."  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
She shook her head defiantly, but he knew that was her  
cultural conditioning speaking. It was obvious that she'd  
already missed at least one meal. Keroberus had often wished  
that he had been blessed with a gift for cooking. It was  
difficult to excel in the culinary arts when one had no hands,  
however, and while his smaller form was probably better suited to  
the task, he didn't want to frighten the child by changing shape.   
He needed her help if he was going to get anything nutritious  
into her before someone with opposable thumbs stumbled out of the  
bedroom.  
  
He smiled. It was wonderful that Yue and Sakura had  
discovered this great love between them. Heaven knew that they'd  
both been alone for far too many years. Being totally aware of  
his master's emotions during their hot twelve year affair,  
however, was sometimes a bit ... uncomfortable for him. She  
still had no idea they were connected in this way, but the looks  
he sometimes got from Yue didn't help matters any.  
  
And while they were thinking only of one another, he  
suddenly had a strange child to take care of. Just his luck.   
"Open that cupboard there."  
  
She took a tentative step in the direction his nose was  
pointing and he moved to push a chair under it for her. "Be  
careful."  
  
"Is it this one?"  
  
"Yeah. That one."  
  
Cautiously, she opened the door, then peered inside.  
  
"There should be a tall white bottle there."  
  
Her hand reached out to touch the strange white container.   
She jerked her arm back quickly with a cry.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?"  
  
She looked down in wounded suspicion. "It's cold!"  
  
"Hmmmph! Technophobes!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's cold, but it won't hurt you. Pull it out and put it  
on the counter."  
  
She touched it experimentally, then grabbed it as if she  
expected it to run away if she wasn't firm. Slowly, she  
retracted her arm, then placed the milk on the counter.  
  
After her reaction to the slight magical cold of one small  
cupboard, he wasn't about to try to guide her through anything so  
involved as making rice or heating soup. She'd just have to make  
do with cold cereal for now. Thank goodness for the master's  
acquiescence to his sweet tooth.  
  
He helped Ayumi to find bowls, cups, and a spoon, showed her  
which to fill with what, and where to set his. He reassured her  
that the chair was a good place to sit. The table was too high  
for kneeling on the floor.  
  
"Now," he insisted. "Please eat your own share. To thank  
you for your help."  
  
"But ..." she poked the crunchy flakes suspiciously. "Is it  
safe? For people?"  
  
"Trust me," he purred. "You'll like it."  
  
He could see her struggling between fear of this new unknown  
-- strange white fluid over strange hard flat things -- and her  
obvious hunger. She smelled the bowl cautiously, then fished out  
a single flake and licked it. When she put it in her mouth at  
last, she chewed it thoroughly, then swallowed it with a  
tentative smile. When she glanced down at him self consciously,  
he quickly dropped his head and began to lap his own breakfast  
enthusiastically. When he did look up again, Ayumi was quickly  
devouring the cereal, and he suspected that before long she'd let  
herself be talked into seconds. He smiled. She seemed like a  
sweet and intelligent girl. Strongly gifted too. It was almost  
certain that she had not received any training. A shame. With  
her intelligence she might easily become one of the great powers  
of her generation. Even moon energy had it's place in the  
magical scheme of things, flawed as it was.  
  
"Can I have more?"  
  
Their ravenous appetites, for example, often created  
problems for the moon powered.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Yue was wonderful. He was beautiful and sweet and he always  
knew how to make her feel better and she loved him *so* much.  
  
In rather high spirits, she took his hand and dragged him  
towards the kitchen. She needed to eat something, and then she  
could get to work on trying to solve the reflected light problem.   
She'd been trying to work it out in her mind for decades, but  
she'd never been very good with magical theory. All she knew was  
that Moon Guardians had to rely on magic from a human. Yue had  
sworn to serve her all those years ago, therefore it was her job  
to provide him with the energy he needed to live and do magic and  
be happy. After all, she had more than enough power for herself,  
and Kero-chan, and all her spells, and Yue too. She loved Yue  
very much and wanted him to be healthy. Right now everything was  
alright because she was so strong. Once, though, it had been  
different.  
  
In time, all humans died. Clow had died, and Syaoran, and  
her father, and someday she too would have to leave her beloved  
guardians; would have to entrust her friend Keroberus and her  
lover Yue to a new master and a future that was inscrutable to  
her. Someday she would die.  
  
When that happened, Sakura was determined to make sure that  
Yue would be safe. She was determined to make sure that he had  
enough energy to live even if his new master couldn't support him  
all alone right away. No one else would lose their onii-chan if  
she could help it. That meant that she would have to figure out  
how Yue worked and change it somehow.  
  
They hadn't talked about it much. She'd tried to figure out  
what to do for a long time, but lots of things had gone wrong.  
  
Onii-chan had suggested that she focus on other things for a  
while. Making him happy first, and then worrying about some  
distant future. As long as she and Yue were together, they'd  
both be fine. She'd taken a break from the science and mechanics  
of magic. Somehow, she'd sensed that the timing hadn't been  
quite right. Now, though, she was beginning to know with an  
instinct that inspired both fear and hope that it was time to  
start. Time to try something. Anything. That she was ready and  
Yue was ready and the universe would align to help.  
  
First, though, she was going to have some breakfast.  
  
And find out why there was a little girl sitting at her  
kitchen table.  
  
Sakura blinked. She looked from the girl to Keroberus and  
then back again. There was something about her...  
  
"Good morning!" There was only a trace of good natured  
teasing in Kero-chan's voice, but Yue glared at him from behind  
their master just the same.  
  
She looked again at the little stranger who was staring back  
at her with those eyes that were so clear and intelligent and  
somehow ...  
  
"Kawaii!" she gushed, and let go of Yue to walk to the table  
and kneel in front of the girl. She was so adorable! She had to  
fight herself to keep from giving the frightened child a bear hug  
on the spot. Then Yue cleared his throat and she felt a little  
foolish. She leaned away a little.  
  
"Hello there," Sakura said, smiling brightly at their guest.   
The child dropped her spoon loudly and looked from Sakura to Yue,  
then back to Keroberus. "Don't be afraid. What's your name?"   
This was bound to be an interesting story, but before she heard  
it, she felt she needed to make the girl feel comfortable. She  
continued to smile.  
  
Serious blue eyes were studying her intently, and she  
waited, and felt a tiny whisper of magic that was not her own.   
The child's magic? It had to be. It felt very much like the  
scrutiny she used to get from her older brother on a regular  
basis. A piercing magical vision that she herself lacked. Her  
smile softened a bit. Nothing could be kept from those wise  
little eyes, but that was alright. She could ride this out  
because she had nothing to hide this time. She kept her thoughts  
as reassuring as possible. She only wanted to find out why this  
little one was here so that she'd know what to do for her. She  
only wanted to help.  
  
The magic faded and the girl smiled back shyly. "Ayumi,"  
she whispered. "My name is Ayumi."  
  
"Ayumi-chan was down in the canyon," Keroberus volunteered.   
"She asked me to help her."  
  
"Just walked up to you, and ..."  
  
Keroberus hung his head. "Basically."  
  
"There ..." The tiny squeak from Ayumi surprised her, and  
she turned her attention back to the child. "There was a ... a  
*bad* man. He wanted to hurt me! Mommy helped me. She told me  
to come here. She helped me find Kero ... Kerobo ... He brought  
me here. Away from the bad people! There are lots of bad  
people!"  
  
Sakura placed her hand gently the trembling child's  
shoulder. "It's alright, Ayumi-chan. You're safe now. No one  
is going to hurt you here." She stooped to look at her from her  
own eye level and smiled once more. "My name is Sakura. This is  
my friend Yue." He nodded; a neutral expression on his pale  
face. "And that one there?" She pointed to her Sun Guardian.   
"His name is Keroberus, but you can just call him Kero-chan."  
  
"Sakura!" an offended whine.  
  
"Now. Have you had enough to eat?"  
  
While Keroberus mumbled something about fourth helpings,  
Ayumi nodded.  
  
"Then, perhaps you could tell me what happened. Why were  
you all alone?"  
  
The girl seemed troubled. "I was ... I wasn't ... See,  
there was this man ..." She stared down at her empty bowl and  
tried to gather her thoughts. "He wanted to hurt me. I was  
scared, so I ran away. He followed me, though, and then ..."  
  
When Ayumi stopped, Sakura looked at Keroberus. He  
shrugged. He hadn't seen any of this. For some reason, Ayumi  
didn't want to tell the rest of the story. She didn't seem  
afraid of Sakura, but perhaps she felt that her story would ...  
  
Her clothes were those of a child from a village of  
primitives. They were proud that they didn't rely on the  
technology that they felt had betrayed their ancestors. They did  
everything by hand or with simple machines. They claimed to  
believed in no gods but seemed to fear them just the same. Above  
all, they were suspicious of anything they did not understand.   
They were just as opposed to magic as they were to science. More  
so because they couldn't control it or ban it or explain it away.   
Ayumi had been raised by primitives. Ayumi had survived to her  
present age among them despite the fact that she possessed the  
sight, and a strong magical gift.  
  
Sakura was willing to bet that she had not accomplished this  
by being talkative.  
  
"Ayumi-chan, did the village find out? That you could see  
things?"  
  
Five year old eyes went wide with surprise and fear.  
  
"It's alright. No one here is going to hurt you. Some  
people are afraid, but we're not afraid. You can tell me what  
happened."  
  
That power stirred again. That gaze pinned her, and she let  
it batter and batter at her soul because she understood. People  
had been afraid of her abilities too. She wasn't a seer, but she  
knew that they weren't scary or evil.  
  
Again she seemed to pass Ayumi's test. The child relaxed  
and began to tell the story.   
  
"It was I-chan. Her mother came and asked me if I knew  
where I-chan was. I told her I didn't know, 'cause I hadn't seen  
her since that morning, so she was scared and sad. I didn't know  
what to say but then I saw a picture of a place. An old place  
with some bricks and a well and I-chan and I found it once when  
we went on a walk and that was where I-chan was but Grandma said  
not to tell people when I saw things like that but I-chan's mommy  
was crying and crying and I-chan was down there and she was  
scared and she was crying too. I told her what I saw. I told  
her and she said I was lying but she took some men and went and  
got I-chan and I-chan's leg was hurt and they yelled at me a lot.   
They all yelled at me and the bad man was there and I was afraid  
and I ran away. I ran because they knew and they hated me and  
the bad man wanted to hurt me. Then Mommy helped me and the bad  
man is gone now."  
  
Sakura closed her eyes. The story was all too believable.   
The tale of a magically gifted child in a village of modern day  
superstition. There were still many things about the tale that  
she didn't understand, but details could wait. The poor girl had  
been through enough for now. "Did he hurt you?"  
  
Ayumi nodded solemnly, then bared her stomach revealing an  
impressive purple bruise.   
  
"Don't worry, I'll fix it," Sakura promised. "Now close  
your eyes."  
  
The girl did so with a faith that tugged at Sakura's heart.   
How could anyone hurt such a precious child? She passed one hand  
slowly over the injury. She didn't sense anything seriously  
wrong internally. It was a painful wound, but not dangerous.   
There were a few minor scrapes and bumps elsewhere on her body.   
She healed all of these with a whisper of magic. For a moment,  
she considered touching the mind as well. It would be so easy to  
nudge the child into sleep. So easy to explain away the healing  
power after a day's deep rest, and sleep would certainly be good  
for Ayumi's troubled soul, but she held back. This child had a  
strong magical gift of her own, and if Sakura had anything to say  
about it, she'd be taught to use it properly.   
  
She didn't have to tell Ayumi when she finished. Her eyes  
opened and she smiled serenely. "What was the pink?"  
  
"Pink?" Sakura was momentarily confused. She looked at  
Keroberus who was chuckling softly. Even Yue seemed amused. Had  
she missed something?  
  
"The pink that came inside me. It made me stop hurting.   
Look. It's all around you." She pointed from Sakura to Yue.   
"And he's all silver. And Kero-chan-san is all gold." She  
laughed, and continued to look at each of them.  
  
"She's never experienced real magic before," Yue explained.   
"You've awakened her magical sight."  
  
"Oops." Sakura sat down at the table and thought about  
that. She'd wanted Ayumi to learn about magic. Now it seemed  
she'd inadvertently begun advanced lessons.   
  
Ayumi giggled as she looked all around her. Sakura could  
only imagine what she was seeing. There were plenty of  
enchantments in the kitchen of the every day living variety.   
Spells were much more efficient than trying to keep technology  
operating so far from any real civilization. "Ayumi, do you know  
what magic is?"  
  
The trusting gaze was once again turned to her. "You mean  
like curses?"  
  
Not a promising beginning. "Well ... partly. But there are  
also good spells. Like spells to make little girls stop  
hurting."  
  
"That was magic?"  
  
Sakura nodded calmly.  
  
"So you can do magic?"  
  
"Yes. I can do some spells and I can tell when other people  
do magic too. That's the pink that you saw."  
  
"So ... so the magic is inside you?" She tilted her head to  
the side with an air of contemplation.  
  
"That's right."  
  
"Does it tickle?"  
  
Sakura shook her head doing her best to stifle a childish  
giggle. "No. No, it's like ... breathing. It's a natural part  
of some people. If you have it, you don't even notice it unless  
you're thinking about it. Like when you use it for a spell."  
  
"And then it tickles?"  
  
"Well ... maybe a little."  
  
Ayumi regarded her solemnly, and then yawned with vigor, and  
Sakura remembered with guilt that the child had been through much  
in the last twenty-four hours. This was no time for lectures.   
"Ayumi-chan!" She quickly made a decision. "Come with me." she  
said, holding her hand out to the little girl. "Let's put you to  
bed."  
  
And with that same perfect trust, Ayumi touched Sakura's  
wrist, and then held her other arm up until Sakura, with a lump  
in her throat, picked her up and held her close. "Sakura-sensei  
has magic," Ayumi whispered in a sleepy voice. "And so do her  
friends. And so does Ayumi-chan. White magic. Like Mommy."   
She clutched Sakura tightly. "Right, Sakura-sensei?"  
  
"Right, Ayumi-chan. Now sleep. We'll talk about this when  
you wake up." But the child had fallen asleep before the words  
were out of her mouth, and she looked from one guardian to the  
other. "Goodness! Absolutely *nothing* gets past this one."  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------   
  
  
More coming in a week or two. Sorry to have delayed so long. Technical difficulties.  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
-Michelle  
  



End file.
